baby steps
by DramaDelicacy
Summary: That's when she realizes that maybe the step to tomorrow is not too far away. For ssmonth. Sakura-centric.


Sakura knows. She's not stupid so she knows. She knows when people look at her and notice immediately that she's the odd one out. Sometimes when the three of them walks together, she likes to step back. A few step back, and just watch. She told herself so long ago that she would stop watching their backs –and that this time they'll be the ones watching hers. But she knows, and so she steps back and watches.

She looks at Naruto and muses that despite his struggles with his inner demon, it is in his nature to be a leader. He carries a legacy of great, and she carries a legacy of... what?

She looks at Sasuke and smiles silently. Sasuke, power surging through his blood, is the prodigy. And Sakura isn't.

So there she is, in the middle of her boys.

And she hates that even after all the things she's gone through: hours, days, weeks, years spent to become a stronger kunoichi, her boys would always leap to tomorrow before she even steps.

She pretends it's all okay, that this is the natural order of things, that they'll always be ten steps ahead of her. Because she knows that they need her. She's the only medic-nin they'll ever look for. She's the one keeping them alive; to fight for another day, to overcome her for another time.

Sometimes when she lies in bed, awake and crying, she wonders about how pitiful that is. When she wakes up in the morning, eyes puffy from the night before, she smiles in front of the mirror and pretends that everything is in order.

Pretends that it's okay when people look at the three of them, and whispers. Pretend that it doesn't bother her when both girls and boys look at Naruto and Sasuke and screams praises and thanks for saving the village. Because they were in the front line, and Sakura tried, she really did, but they were just too overwhelming.

It doesn't surprise her when Sasuke comes up to her one day and asks her what's wrong. She smiles at him and gives him a light pat on his shoulder.

"Nothing's wrong," she says. For someone so cold and indifferent, he's incredibly perceptive, and she loathes him for that. _As if you're not already perfect_, she thinks.

"Sakura," he grabs her arm, frowning. She sighs and turns to face him. Slowly, she lifts her hand until it makes contact with his cheek. His warmth reaches her and she smiles. Sasuke leans into her touch, closing his eyes for a second, before pulling away from her. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, Sasuke," she insists. "You'll be late for your mission. Make sure you don't break too many bones this time."

He smirks at her, and over the years since his return, she's learned to recognize the little things he does. She notices his worry hidden underneath his cool façade, and it makes her heart flutter ever so slightly.

"Take care of Naruto," she says. And she regrets saying it almost immediately. Almost.

"The dobe can take care of himself," he says. And she knows he means nothing by it, but it bites her conscience. She smiles slightly and nods.

"Yeah," she mutters. "Yeah."

Because both Naruto and Sasuke are completely capable of taking care of themselves, and it's always her who needs to have her back covered. But she smiles this fact away, and pretends that everything's okay.

"We'll be back in a few days," Sasuke says, reaching out to tuck a few strands of her hair behind her ear. "Don't overwork yourself."

She smiles and nods.

"I'll be okay," she says. Because as much as she wants to be out there in the field, fighting alongside them, she knows she'll just get in the way. But it's okay. And this is the one thing that soothes her every single time. It's okay because in the hospital she's powerful and useful. She carries the lives of so many people in the palm of her hands, and that's the place where people come to praise and thank her.

So as Sasuke leans forward to kiss her on the forehead, and then her nose, and lastly her lips, she smiles into his kiss. Because even though they overwhelm her in the battlefield, she will always be thankful to Tsunade for teaching her all the things she knows. Because even if she's not the strongest in the field, she'll be the strongest in the field of medicine, and health, and life.

Sakura is thankful. She's hesitant, and she's not too confident in herself. But she is thankful. She constantly thanks her mentor for giving her a chance, and she thanks herself for wanting to _be_ better. For being tired of getting left behind.

Because maybe, all her years of training and learning, all the blood and sweat and energy she's put into herself –are not so useless after all.

And maybe one day, she'll stop stepping back during their walks. Maybe one day, Sasuke will stop turning back to look at her –frowning as he holds out his hand for her to take so that she walks next to him. Maybe one day, Naruto will stop turning back to look at her –yelling at her to stop walking so slow, that he's in the middle of telling her a story and it's annoying if she's not next to him.

So maybe one day Sakura will feel comfortable walking in the middle of her boys, whose warmth she's become so accustomed to.

That day is not going to be today, or tomorrow, or even the next.

But as she steps back to look at her boys who immediately notices the uncomfortable gap, she smiles. As they complain, Naruto more vocally, about her "annoying habit", she laughs.

Because she knows that maybe tonight she'll cry about the time so long ago in the battlefield when she couldn't be of any use. But she also knows that tomorrow she'll smile a genuine smile as she enters the hospital where they welcome her, where she fights and lead: where she _conquers_.

That's when she realizes that maybe the step to tomorrow is not too far away.

And she's okay with that. One baby step at a time.

* * *

**a/n |**

I never really write anything for ssmonth. All this time shipping SasuSaku and I don't even know this exist. Anyway, I wrote this putting myself in Sakura's shoes, at least from my perception of her character. Many people think she's this incredibly confident girl, and I don't disagree –I just think it's a bit of a façade. How can you not feel overwhelmed when your best friends are so much more than you?

I think I gave her a suitable closure, though. Because something like this doesn't get resolved in one day, it takes time.

Sakura is literally one of my favorite _manga_ characters of all time, and I love her to bits so I hope I do her justice in this fic.

Reviews are appreciated.

–_DramaDelicacy _


End file.
